


A for Effort

by ToWriteFanfictionOnHerLaptop



Category: Percy Jackson and the Olympians - Rick Riordan
Genre: Alternate Universe - High School, Child Abuse, M/M, Mortal AU, Nico has a serious attitude
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2014-11-20
Updated: 2015-06-25
Packaged: 2018-02-26 09:55:32
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 13
Words: 13,122
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/2647664
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/ToWriteFanfictionOnHerLaptop/pseuds/ToWriteFanfictionOnHerLaptop
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>I sat there in my usual seat by the window wishing I could be anywhere else but here. Leo didn't really Like school and even less so when a mysterious stranger bumps into him in the hall. However, when they are forced to sit next to each other in History, will a friendship grow? Eventual Valdangelo. (Leo and Nico are 16)</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. Chapter 1- Enchanted

Leo P.O.V

I sat there in my usual seat by the window wishing I could be anywhere else but here. The teacher was rambling on about the quadratic formula for probably the fifth time today and I was slowly getting tired of it. For whatever reason, they had decided to place me in a class with- how do I put this? Not the brightest students.

“Leo, can you please tell me what x is in the equation?” The teacher asked.

“X equals 6 or -3 Miss Jones.” I said, refusing to look up from my page. Miss Jones sighed obviously frustrated but I didn’t care. When the bell finally rang, I jolted up from my seat and ran to the door grateful that this lesson was over. It was one of those days where all you do is fake a smile and force a laugh until you can hope to feel better. Looking down, I dragged my feet to where I meet my friends until I collided with something that sent me crashing to the floor.

 I looked up to see him. Dressed mostly in black he scrambled to collect his books and his bag. Slowly, I picked up a textbook and stood, ready to hand it to him.

“Here you go.” I said with a laugh.

“Thanks dickhead. Watch where you’re going next time.” He retorted, a slight accent on his voice. The boy was about the same height as me with a messy mop of black hair and pale skin. His deep brown eyes shifted up and down my form as if he were examining my soul. Before I had a chance to ask his name, he left knocking my shoulder as he went. Jason came running up to me when he left.

“Hey man, what was that about?”

“I… don’t know. You know him?”

“Yeah,” Jason said, “Well no but I know who he is. He moved here from New York. His family’s Italian. His name’s Nico.”

I tried to shake off the feeling that I knew him. Jason interrupted my thoughts.

“Hey lover boy, you got class next? Cause me and Perce were going to blow off school if you wanna come with.”

I laughed, “Oh shut up Grace, just cause you’re not good enough for this ass. Yeah, I’ll come with.”

I walked with him still with Nico in my mind.

I had to come back to the place I know as hell for Biology that afternoon. At lunch, I strolled to the back of school hoping there would be someone I could talk to who I didn’t have to impress. Turning the corner, I stopped when I saw him taking a long drag out of a cigarette and then releasing the smoke in a cascade of white air.

“Are you going to stand there and stare or do you want one?” Nico spitted out although I doubted I really meant it.

“That’s bad for your health you know” I retorted.

He plucked the cigarette end from between his teeth and flicked it onto the ground before stubbing it out with his black and white Converse.

“Oh really. It never occurred to me. Yeah, I do it for the taste.” He said, sarcasm dripping from his words.

I sighed and moved towards him despite his words. So what if I was an idiot, if anything, he was interesting.

“I’d never seen you in the halls before. How recently did you move?”

“Why do you assume I had moved here? Maybe you were just too stupid to notice.”

“Wow, you sure are a bundle of fun aren’t you? And anyway, word gets around. So before you start preaching to me about how clearly stupid and self-absorbed I am, shut the fuck up and wait a damned second.”

Nico pulled out another cigarette and placed it between his teeth clearly amused.

“I moved about a week ago. And I’ve seen you. Oh and I think we’ll be seeing a lot more of each other. I’m in your History class tomorrow. Oh I think you need to watch your language.”

He knew that what he was saying made me angry. I swallowed and tried to regain myself. “How could you possibly know that I have History tomorrow?”

A grin spread onto his lips, “Word gets around.”

Nico reached into his pocket and pulled out a packet. He walked over to me and pulled the cigarette firm between his teeth and placed it in the pocket of my shirt.

“You’ll need this. See you later Valdez” Nico winked at me and left with a spring in his step. I stood confused and wondering who I was really dealing with.


	2. Chapter 2- New Romantics

Leo P.O.V

The next day, I stroll into my History class just waiting to see him stood there smugly. Instead, I see him already in sat I the seat next to mine. My feet lead me before I ca think and I sit down- too scared to break the silence. I never particularity liked History; learning about dead people never appealed to me. Still, I could hear the blur of voices and facts in the background as I glanced over at him. His lips remained in one thin line rather than speaking. He held his black aviator jacket a little closer than before.  In the too bright light, his skin could have been translucent, the faint blue lines that ran under the skin of his neck barely visible. I ripped a page out of my book and quickly scrawled the words,

‘Are you okay?’ onto the paper before slowly slipping it into his hand. Nico glanced down and screwed up the paper into a ball and forced it into his pocket. I sighed out of frustration and scrawled another note- desperate to make a connection with him. This time, when he read the note, Nico looked up and mouthed the word stop. I looked down at my notes not wanting to annoy him.

“Okay Class, in two weeks’ time, I would like you to give an oral presentation in pairs about any aspect of American History. I expect it to be excellent quality. I expect 3 day’s work. You will work with your work partner. Good Luck” And with that, she dismissed the class.

“Wait for me at the gate when school’s over. We can go to my house and start tonight.” Nico said quietly.

“Um, yeah that cool.” I replied. Nico looked at me for a second for a second before taking the note I had given him out of his pocket and passing it back.

“And it’s none of your fucking business.” He said before walking off.

My day blurred together as I drifted through classes and hallways like a zombie not really taking notice of anyone.

“Leo, are you okay?” Jason asked as I sat down at our lunch table. I nodded along not really listening.

“So, I heard you have to work with Nico.” Percy said with a wink.

“I know what you’re implying and it’s not true.”

“Okay but admit it, you like him a little. You love the fact he’s a bad boy and you don’t understand him and you love it.”

The food went stale in my mouth. There were too many butterflies in my stomach I couldn’t tell if I did like him or not. I hated the fact that my friends knew me better than I did.

“Okay, maybe a little.” I muttered.

Jason groaned and handed Percy a five dollar bill. I glared at him.

“What? If you’re going to have confused emotions about a guy I might as well make money out of it. Have fun at Nico’s Leo.”

I grabbed my tray and walked off still questioning how I felt about this boy.

The end of the day came around faster than I could have expected and I was stood there in the autumn air with my hands in my pockets and my head down. Suddenly, I was being dragged by my arm in the opposite direction. I tugged my arm free.

“Dude, what the fuck?”

Nico turned around with a smirk on his face that quickly died.

“You were standing there like an idiot and I didn’t want the whole awkward introduction.”

“How could that- Why would you- what-“

“But it worked didn’t it? Now come on, I have better shit to be doing than this.”

I jogged to catch up with him as he walked. We didn’t talk much but when he wasn’t looking, I chanced to take a glance at him and soon I began to wonder what lied behind his scowl. The thin line that was always etched on his face it seemed natural. What did he look like when he smiled? I was determined to know. I wanted to peel back the layers of hate and distrust and find out who he was.

“Here we are.” His voice cut through the comforting silence. “Little warning, my Mom doesn’t talk much, don’t worry ‘bout it.”

I nodded and he led me through the gate into the relatively normal looking house.

“I’m home Mom.” He shouted, dumping his school bag at the bottom of the stairs. The call echoed through the halls waiting for a reply but none came. Nico grabbed my arm again and pulled me upstairs, putting a cigarette in his mouth as he entered his room. I stopped dead in my tracks breathing in the unexpected colour that burst from the walls.

“No need to act so shocked. I do know that colours other than black exist.”

“No it’s not that its-“

Nico held up his hand.

“Don’t bother. Allow me to explain myself. One colour is easier than the rainbow that you face when you even bother to step out of the door in the morning. Yes I get strange looks. No, I don’t care. To be honest, I could build a castle out of all the bricks they threw at me but I couldn’t care less.”

I stood, too afraid to move and too scared to answer back.

“I think.” Nico sighed, “That this would work better if I did the work and you slapped your name on the front at the end.”

“No. That’s not right. If it’s my grade it wouldn’t feel fair and anyway, she said that it would take at least 3 days of solid work. I can’t do that to you.”

But Nico had already sat down, engrossed in a book that I couldn’t read the title of.

“I’ll go then. See you tomorrow Nico.”

He didn’t say anything back and as I walked down the hall, I noticed pictures of two small children both alike in appearance- olive skin and black hair. One a boy, one a girl. I continued walking and out the door thinking about what would happen if anyone cared enough to tear those castle walls down.


	3. Chapter 3- Wildest Dreams

Leo P.O.V

What seemed like forever passed since we had last spoken. He did as he said and I assumed he had finished the project despite the fact that I constantly felt guilt for not having the balls to insist. My feet dragged along the gravel as I trudged home after another painful day at school. A cold spread from my chest, down my spine and into my limbs making me want to curl up into a ball and forget the world. I heard the sound of shoes hitting tarmac quickly and I slowly turned my head round to see what it was. Nico was running towards me, his face red and eyes bloodshot. When he had saw that I had turned around, he stopped, waiting a moment to recover his breath before speaking.

“Hey, do you think we’ll be able to finish that project at yours tonight?” Nico said between deep heaving breaths.

“Yeah sure, my house is this way.”

“Oh really?” he said sarcastically, “I thought you were going this way to join the circus.”

I sighed and kept walking, relishing in the sweet silence between us.

“Are you sure your parents won’t mind?” Nico said quietly, as if he were nervous though I’d never seen this boy nervous before.

“Nah,” I said casually, “My Dad won’t mind. He owns a shop, spends most of the day fixing up old machines. I join him on weekends. It pays the bills I guess. Anyway, I look after myself. He won’t mind.”

We continued to walk in that blanket of silence until we had finally reached my house.

“Welcome to the mad house.” I joked as I opened the door and let him in, “Leave your bag there and go to my bedroom, second door to the left, I’ll join you in a minute.”

Nico shot me a look that I was waiting to be followed by a sarcastic comment,

“Platonic Friendship Valdez, remember that.” He said before walking upstairs- his tread soundless.

I followed him, the familiar creek of the stairs eased my nerves. If anything was going to take me down, it would be him. Everything about him seemed new and mysterious and I wanted to know what made him tick. I wanted to know who he was. He was so handsome and maybe a centimetre taller but it was so worth it. He was so bad and rebellious but pulls it off with the right about of humour and charm so that he wasn’t scary. Oh put he can be. He can put on a mask that takes away any warmth he had in his eyes and it terrified me that he could do that.

I entered the room to find Nico awkwardly sat on my bed looking as if he didn’t know whether to laugh or cry.

“Are you okay?” I asked

Nico nodded, “Yeah, I’m fine. I was just wondering if, um, I could stay the night here.”

“Oh, yeah of course you can. Why?”

“It’s none of your fucking business Valdez.” He spat.

“Nico-“

“Stop,”

 I sighed, “You can sleep in here, I’ll sleep downstairs.”

I didn’t remember when he had went to sleep but I know that he had borrowed some of my pyjama’s to wear. A constant screaming woke me from my sleep and as I went to investigate, I found it was coming from my room. I opened the door to find Nico crying and breathing heavily. Before I could think, I ran over to him and enveloped him into a hug, his bare torso slick with sweat sticking to my chest.

“It’s okay” I whispered, a hand in his hair trying to comfort him the best I could.

“I want to leave.” Nico whispered back.

“Nico, It’s like 2 am, you can’t go home now.”

I felt him shake his head.

“No, no. I want to leave here. Get out of this stupid city and get away from the stupid crowds and I want to go. I want to go anywhere but here.” He said, his voice still shaking.

I pulled his head from my shoulder and cupped his cheeks, determined to make him meet my eyes. In the dim light, they looked black, the little moonlight that shone through the gap in the blinds illuminated the tear tracks that ran down his cheeks. Right now, in his little moments of weakness when he was forced to feel all those emotions he had pushed down, he looked all his 17 years. So small and fragile I was afraid to touch him.

“Even if you did, nothing lasts forever. You’d have to come back some time. Whatever this is, you can’t run from it.” He looked down, almost ashamed.

“Do you want me to stay here?” I asked.

Nico nodded and shifted towards the wall so that there was enough room for me. I fell asleep next to him in the darkness with only the sound of his ragged breath between us.

The next morning, I woke to find my head buried in his shoulder and my leg over his as though we had been tangled up with each other all night.

“Leo.” Nico said.

“Yeah, wassup?”

“Is there any possibility that you somehow got… aroused somehow?”

‘Fuck’ I thought. I quickly detangled myself and ran to the bathroom, hoping I didn’t make a mess of what little foundations out friendship had.

“At least I can control my dick Valdez” Nico called from the next room.

I sighed and waited until I was sure he was gone before quickly getting dressed and running downstairs.

“I’m going to go now, I might have time to get changed at home.” Nico called

 “Wait.” I shouted and ran to the kitchen where he had been waiting.

I could feel the blood rushing in my ears and my heart beat in my veins.

“Leo are you okay?”

In a moment of madness, I leaned forward and kissed him. His cold lips on mine sent shivers through my bones. Then, I felt his hands on my chest as he pushed me away. He put his sleeve to his lips and wiped his mouth.

“What the fuck Valdez?” Was all he said before he left, the only sound was his boots echoing against the wooden floor.


	4. Chapter 4- Broken Crown

Leo P.O.V

Everything had been fine until I had seen him in the hallway. The repetitive mundane landscape of the halls brought my nerves down. All day, I had shaking legs and sweaty palms- too afraid to confront him or even speak for fear of rejection. Too many times had my heart been broken by such carelessness and too many times had I been thrown away like a toy. I hoped to god that he would not be like those before him. Using me, hurting me so I would remain theirs. I know him and I know that he couldn’t do that. We were too similar for him to hurt me. And yet, we were so different in the ways we lived. He refused all company while I wished for more friends to share my burdens.

And that’s when I saw him, when I was too involved in my own thoughts to care where my feet had lead me.

“Hi Nico.” I said, trying to seem more confident than I was.

“Piss off.” He muttered, barging past me as he went.

“I’m not scared of you Nico. I know you want everyone to think that you’re some kind of untouchable monster with no heart and no feeling but I know otherwise. You are not a monster and I am not scared of you.”

He didn’t move for a second- just stood there mid step, frozen from my words. Slowly, he turned his head towards me, a vile scowl on his face and unfeeling eyes staring at me. He walked forwards and pushed me into the lockers behind me. I felt a sharp sting in my spine so strong I arched my back to get away from it. I groaned in pain before realising that Nico had his hand on the collar of my shirt with such force he almost lifted off the ground.

“What about now Valdez?” He growled in my ear. The hall was almost silent but soon came back to life.

I grabbed his hand and forced his fist from my shirt. I regained my breath from the shock and felt the anger rising in my throat.

“What the fuck Nico? You don’t scare me. Do you know why? Cause that is not what normal people do!”

He stepped back for a second looking at the ground. He closed his arms around his body again and he looked like how young he truly was. He wasn’t playing the role of a hardened soldier as he so often did. It was this Nico that I had affection towards. This Nico that was so broken and small that I was made to help him. And yet, the Nico that I so often knew, the cold and heartless Nico was the one who caught my eye.

 He looked up and walked towards me again but instead of again pushing me into the lockers, he collided his lips onto mine. I could feel his hands go to my back, crushing his hips against mine in strange mix of anger and passion. I dared to move my hands to his hair, his waist, anything just to get closer to him. But he refused and stepped away the moment I moved. We both stood there a little shocked and breathing harder than we should. He looked at me and flicked his eyes from my hair to the soles of my shoes and turned to walk away, his hands in his pockets. I ran forward and grabbed his elbow and pulled him back around to face me.

“No. You can’t just do that and leave.” I said. He raised an eyebrow at me- surprised that I had decided to fight back.

“Look, I know I was never meant to be your chosen one. Okay? I get that. I get that you have no interest in me what so fucking ever but you can’t just do that and expect me to go along with that twisted little game that you’ve got going on. You cannot fucking tempt me to just ignore whatever feeling I have for you so that you can carry on and ignore me for weeks. You didn’t let me decide whether I should like you or not. You dragged me into it with that stupid bad boy shit. Who are you kidding? Not me Nico. I can see past all the masks you put on and I know the real you. And if you think that going around and doing things for no reason, like a make out session in the hall for example, will win you bad boy or crazy points with me, then you are so wrong. I don’t know what you see in the mirror, but I see a boy. A boy who is scared and confused and maybe I am too. But I am not like you and I don’t fuck with people’s emotions like that. At lease I know I’m human. What are you trying to be? Cause whatever it is, You need to stop. You can’t keep this up Nico.”

Nico looked at me again, an eyebrow still raised.

“Watch me.” He said before winking at me and disappearing into the crowd that I knew so well.


	5. Chapter 5- This is Gospel

Leo P.O.V

Walking home with his sweet taste still prickling my lips, I pondered about just what he meant. Watch me he said. Watch him do what? Fuck me over again like he always seemed to do. I didn’t see why I had to be his next target. What had I done to him? I tried to be his friend because being friends with someone who wants to be left alone is always the best idea. I mentally cursed myself as I continued trudging, fighting off the biting wind. That biting wind that stung my cheeks and cut harsh wounds at any exposed flesh. But with Nico in the back of my mind, I somehow didn’t seem to mind as much. I spent my days ignoring the reality of things and imagining. Imagining what we could be.

Then I heard him.

I heard shouting and retaliation. Pausing for thought, I wondered over to the noise to see if he was okay. I saw them, five, maybe six of them, all taller and all big. I mean jocks-who-play-four-games-of-football-a-week-with-extra-weight-training-inbetween big. He looked so small stood amongst them, his voice louder than the other as he fought to maintain that mask he always wore.

“Get off me! I said! Get. Off. Me.” He screamed pushing them back.

They closed in, forcing him to the ground. I felt my heart pound in my chest. They punched. They kicked. They ground his face into the tarmac. And they left. I ran over. Heart pumping, legs shaking for the fear of what could have happened to him.

“Nico?” I asked lifting his head up and slowly placing it on my lap. I saw the blood scorched on his face, a streak of pain no less.

He groaned, attempting to shift his head away from me as if the contact burned. I grabbed his hand and pulled him up.

“Fucking bastards.” He breathed, “Their bark was worse than their bite, I’ll tell you that.”

 “Come on Buddy, I’m getting you home.” It was evident that he could not stand as well as I had hoped. Supporting his weight with a hand around his waist, I helped him walk a little.

“Leo, I-I don’t need your help.”

“And I’m not leaving you.”

“Your dad will worry.”

“He won’t even notice I’m gone.”

He shut up after that, too weak to come up with a snarky comeback that would cut like a knife. And so the blanket of silence laid between us like an unspoken barrier. I lead him upstairs when we got there, laying him on the bed as if he were made of china. He looked like a child, a broken child. I went to get a washcloth for the blood and when I came back, there he was with a bare chest, still as dazed. And the red patches of boot marks and scrapes so clear against that translucent skin he had. He never seemed alive enough to actually be here. He was like a ghost, never here nor there. Not belonging and still hanging on to life.

I pressed the cold cloth to his face and he hissed with pain. I dared to wipe the blood away while he stared at me. Big brown eyes in the little sunlight there was in the room staring at mine. He wasn’t there-not really. I pushed a little of his hair back to finish cleaning the rest of his face. He had so many scratches, his skin red and raw.

I picked up one of his hands palm up and wiped the gravel and blood from it. He felt so fucking cold. It felt strange to be able to touch him for this long without him backing away like a frightened deer. Slowly, I bandaged his hands and by the end, he looked pretty beat up. I dared to look up at him again, a silence becoming uncomfortable. His eyes were already on mine.  I coughed nervously.

“I’ll go put your shirt in the wash.”

Plodding down the stairs, I found a packet of painkillers and got a glass of water for Nico. I didn’t want to leave him alone for too long in case- In case what happened? In case he rolled out of bed cause he is too weak to stand? In case he was faking? I felt a need to protect him and taking care of him was the best way to do that, or so I thought. I ran back upstairs and found him trying to sit up. He groaned in pain, placing a hand over his ribs.

“Oh hell no. Lay your ass back down.”

“But Leo-“

“Save it Di Angelo.”

“You’re treating me like I’m made of fucking china. Stop it. Fucking stop it.”

“Nico, you literally just got beat up. You can’t sit up without being in pain. I just had to clean a shit tonne of blood off of your face and hands. You need time to recover. Let me help. Now, take these, they’ll make you go drowsy.” I said offering him the two painkillers.

After half an hour of begging, pleading and persuading, he reluctantly agreed. He went drowsy after a while and that’s when he started talking.

“Hey, hey Leo. Come here.”

“What is it?”

He grabbed my hand and led it towards the left side of his chest over his heart.

“Can you feel that?” He whispered, almost smiling.

I nodded. “That’s your heart Nico. It’s beating. It does that. Everyone has one.”

He looked confused for a second and put his hand over mine.

“Hey, yours is doing the same thing. It’s beating a little faster though.”

I laughed, “Yeah, It does that.”

Nico moved his hand away again and felt his own heartbeat as if it kept him alive.

“I’m sorry.” He whispered.

“For what?”

“For the thing I did in the hall. And for pissing you off. And for getting beat up. Even when I’m an asshole to you, you still come and help. What do I have to do to get you to leave me alone for one day? It’s like you’re my bitch. I don’t know how I feel about you yet Leo.”

“Well, truth be told, I never was your bitch. And when you figure it out, I’d very much like to know.”

Nico laughed and laid his head on the pillow, his quiet snores soon filling the room. It was going to be a long night.


	6. Chapter 6- The Kids Aren't Alright

Leo P.O.V

Slowly, I blinked my heavy eyes open to see him lying there- staring at the ceiling as if it were a work of art. His black hair seemed to be alive and desperate to be free as it stuck up in all directions. He had dark circles under his eyes: the pale morning light illuminated his translucent skin and the light blue veins glowed on his neck. His face was pretty beat up, his cheek a patchwork of scabs that could have been a blush if you squinted your eyes hard enough and the same went for his hands but they were bandaged. He looked like he was been in a boxing match and lost. Nico was never one to go down without a fight. Each breath he took seemed to be more effort, as if breathing itself was a chore that stole his energy from him.

“How you feelin’?” I said, finally breaking the silence between us as the rain pounded against the window.

Nico turned his head towards me and blinked, saying nothing. It was like he expected me to know what he was thinking. The anger bubbled in the chest.

“Are you fucking kidding me?” I growled with clenched fists, “Are you really going to do this again?”

“Do what?” He said emotionlessly.

“This! The ‘oh I’m Nico. I don’t have emotions. I hate everyone. Oh, stay away from me. My soul is black and I hate life’. Knock it off dude. I get it okay, you don’t like people. But, by no means does that mean that you can treat people who have helped you like shit! Not only that, but you fucking fuck with my emotions too like dude! Stop that shit. Your love is fucking anaemic. You could kick me, punch me and fucking beat me down and I would still fall to your knees and tend to your bloody knuckles and say sorry for ruining your shirt with my blood. And do you know what the worst thing is? I keep fucking doing it.”

“Oh.” Nico said, “Well, I am so fucking sorry that you decided to latch yourself onto me. Do you think I asked for this? I didn’t want you to have this strange interest in me. I want to be left alone Leo. I am meant to be alone. I’m not alright and I don’t want to near me. I will hurt you, one way or another. Do you really want that?”

“Do you think I care about being hurt? My Mom’s dead. My Dad is never around. I live home alone. I have a grand total of two friends. I have a strange need to help people. I would gladly do this again.”

“Do what?” He asked again.

“This. Pick you up, dust you off and bandage your wounds. Do you know why? Because ever since I met you, something about you struck me as off and now I know why. It’s because for some reason, I feel a rush in my veins when I’m near you and it’s only ever you.”

Nico sighed and pushed himself up so he was sitting. Huge purple and blue patches littered his chest, bringing a whole new meaning to ‘being beaten black and blue’. He winced a little and I lurched forward to help him up. I grabbed his arm to steady him but he yanked it out of my grasp.

“I can do it myself.”

“Don’t try to be the hero Nico. It’s okay to need help. You’re not immortal. You can stand there in protest with your black banners raised screaming of revolution but, when that crooked smile of yours fades, you will need help to drag that banner back home again.”

He paused, the only sound filling the space was the pounding of rain. It ever rained but it poured down heavy streams. Rain so violent and hard that it either kept you awake or sent you to sleep.

“I can do it by myself.” He finally said again through gritted teeth.

I stepped away as I saw him fight through that ever present pain that he felt. That dull ache in his ribs and the pain that came from breathing. He heaved himself up finally and with a few shaky steps, made it to the door.

“Were you always this stubborn?” I called through the door.

“I have absolutely no idea what you are talking about Valdez.” He called back.

I began to wonder how we could do this, flitter between casual joking around and then somehow descend into that pitfall of arguing because he didn’t care enough, or I’d done something stupid. It was a bitter kind of happiness when we were together, constantly teetering on a knife edge between madness and peace. We were always something in-between. I followed him downstairs to make sure he was okay. I would feel awful if something had happened to him. He was stood there in the kitchen, struggling to reach a mug on high shelf but after grunts of pain and a lot of stretching, he got it down. Before I could think, I padded forward and wrapped my arms around his stomach, pressing my stomach against his back.

“What are you doing?” Nico asked.

“Making everything better.” I replied.

“Leo I-“

“Shush, don’t ruin it.”

“If you want me to be yours, I will.” He almost whispered, still loud enough for me to hear.

“I do.” I whispered into his ear as the kettle clicked off and the rain pounded against the window just like before.


	7. Chapter 7- What a Catch, Donnie.

Leo P.O.V

I felt Nico give my hand a small squeeze as we stood by my locker.

“Are you ready?” I asked, rubbing my thumb on the back of his hand carefully.

“I guess so.” He said shrugging his shoulders. “Are you sure they’ll like me, I mean, they don’t even know me.”

“You will be fine.” I promised, pressing a light kiss to his cheek.

“You’ve made me soft Valdez. How do I scare people off now?”

I laughed and tugged him along to the cafeteria. It was as busy as ever but what else could you expect from a bunch of hungry teenagers, as I lead Nico to the table where we usually sit, I felt uneasy. I remembered how they had made fun of him and how they had bet on me. I wanted them to like him because I wouldn’t know what I would do if they didn’t. It would be like an insult. He was practically part me of and if they didn’t like him then-

“I am practically hear you worry thinking.” Nico said, “So what if they don’t like me, fuck them.”

I sighed and continued to fight my way through the crowd to the table where Jason and Percy were already sat eating. When Percy looked up, he dropped what was left of his sandwich on his tray and nudged Jason.

“Hey guys.” I said normally and sat down, leaving room for Nico beside me.

They didn’t speak as Nico sat down and continued to exchange strange looks as he rested his head on my shoulder.

“Oh yeah I forget to mention, Jason, Percy, this is Nico. Nico, Jason and Percy.”

“Hi.” He said with a small wave.

“You two are holding hands.” Percy said.

“And acting all cutesie like.” Jason continued.

“Well, gentlemen, these are excellent observations I have to say. Could it have crossed your minds that we are in fact dating?”

“Okay, I demand details.” Percy said slamming his fist on the table as if he had a mighty need to know, “When did this happen?”

“After I patched up his pretty little face and he stayed at my house. And I don’t know man, I’m a sucker for sarcastic little shits.” I joked.

I felt a sharp pain in my arm as Nico elbowed me.

“I’m not your damsel in distress Leo. I’m a big boy, I can look after myself.”

“I don’t know man, you kinda look like a princess.”

“Unbelievable.”

“Okay.” Jason interrupted, “If you two are done staring lovingly into each other’s eyes, I think we’d all like to know, how did he go from pushing you into lockers to suddenly being all lovey dovey with you?”

“I don’t know man. Maybe I fucked him so hard I broke him.” I answered as I saw slight blush creep onto Nico’s cheek.

“Let me explain to you a thing.” Nico said after recovering from his embarrassment, “I probably have the lowest self esteem in the world. When I met Leo, I knew I was fucked, so I put up a guard. Then I have bad days, and the guard slips down so obviously, I have to make myself seem tougher, meaner than before so all of you don’t think it’s alright to fuck with me cause it’s not. Then this fucker right here, kisses me and I don’t know what to do but I am super fucked. I still can’t believe that I, was somehow desirable to him. I knew I couldn’t keep that guard up for long. Then some bastards beat me up and he has to be a hero and patch me up. He’s so adorable and I’m the one with troubled thoughts and a self-esteem to match. What a catch I am. And he’s a fucking perfect example of a wannabe boyfriend. How could I say no?”

They both sat there speechless making it clear that they had never heard such musing before. I often wondered how I had come to find this boy. This broken, damaged boy who put up a guard. I had made him break down his walls just to see what he could be. He could be free from his prison. And it was his endless philosophical blabbering that helped. I knew more about him, I knew who he was more than I ever had. Although, I felt as though he didn’t nearly know as much about me.

“A-are you guys okay with this?” I said breaking the silence.

“Of course we are you fucking nugget.” Percy said, “I mean as long as you’re happy with him and he doesn’t hurt you, we support you like all the way.”

“Oh and Nico.” Jason added, “If you ever hurt him, we will hunt you down and kill you.”

“I’ll keep it in mind.” Nico laughed and then stood up, “I have to go to my next class, and I’ll meet you at the gate at the end of the day. Okay?”

I nodded and he leaned down to kiss my cheek. He walked away but I kept holding his hand until the last minute as if he would disappear if I let go any sooner.


	8. Chapter 8- Young Volcanoes

Leo P.O.V

Everything was normal. Everything was fine. The day seemed to be passing by as it always did and I met up with my friends at their lockers and after classes as I always did. School life had a certain repetitiveness to it as I passes through the familiar hallways with his familiar hand in mine.

“Do you think Percy and Jason like me?” Nico’s voice chirped in as we dodged through the crowds.

“I can’t see why they wouldn’t.” I replied, “Why do you ask?”

He simply shrugged his shoulders. I knew what it was like when you feel like the whole world is against you. I didn’t have friends before Jason and Percy and they made me feel normal. They made me feel like I wasn’t the victim anymore.

“Jeez Nico, when did you become the insecure one?”

“Piss off.” He said with the hint of a smile on his lips.

“Oh that reminds me. Jason’s having a party at his house tonight. Since the invitation is Leo plus one, I thought since all my other friends are already going I might as well bring you along.”

“You mean like an actual party.”

“Yeah.”

“With people that I won’t know.”

“That’s kinda the point Nico.”

“Well, I am going to need to have at least two shots before I socialise.”

I laughed, “Whatever makes my little cupcake feel better.” Nico hit me on the arm.

“I’ll be at yours at six. I’ll take one for the team and stay sober.” I kissed him on the cheek and went to my next class. All I could think was that I couldn’t wait to see Nico drunk.

A few hours later after what seemed like years of a stress induced outfit choosing, hair styling and overall anxious marathon and rushing around my house, I finally managed to get in my car and drive to Nico’s armed with a six pack of beer. He opened the door to me hazy eyed with messed up hair all dressed up. He gestured for me to enter which I did.

“Are you okay?” I asked, setting the beer down on the counter.

Nico shrugged again, his hands wrapped over his arms as if he were protecting himself from the cold or from harm. And there was that look again. Like a child who just got told off by their parents, small and scared. Slowly, I walked over and closed the distance between us. Placing my hands on his upper arms, I pulled him into a hug. A hug which he gladly received as he melted into my chest.

 “Bad day?” I muttered, digging my nose into his shoulder.

I felt him nod and I held him tighter. I could have stayed there forever, wrapped up in his smell and the feel of his hands around my neck. It was these moments that I liked the best, when we were both stripped bare and free of any façade or pretences. We had no masks. We were being ourselves.  That ever so constant tightness in the space for his breathing and mine but I was nice. It meant that he was alive. Every hair, every inch of flesh was alive and I could almost feel the energy, the joy return to him. I pulled away and forced him to meet my eyes.

“Whatever it is, it’ll be okay. I promise.”

Nico nodded and whispered a thank you.

“Now come on, let’s get you to that party. You can drink away the pain.” I said offering my arm for him.

He laughed and put his arm through mine and together we went through the door as he left the lights on.

It wasn’t long into the party when I lost him in the endless crowds of drunk teenagers and knowing that I had to abstain from alcohol for the evening, I decided to find somewhere to sit. I’d given up hope of attempting to have a rational conversation with anyone. Even Jason was too busy ‘getting his game on’ or so he said. Over the past couple of weeks, he had been trying to work up the balls to ask a girl named Piper out but it wasn’t happening. Apparently, getting his game on meant getting pissed and then confessing his undying love for the poor girl. My head began to pound and I swore to god that if I heard that shitty singer talk about ‘booty’ one more time, I would just grab Nico and leave. That would be of course if I could find Nico.

Then I heard my name being called.

“Leooooo.” He said, stretching out each letter.

Then, he finally appeared, as if from nowhere, throwing himself past another person in his way. I breathed a sigh of relief when I saw him but, it was pretty clear he was drunk.

“Nico, thank god. Where were you?”

“Oh, nowhere really. Just…chilling.” He said with a laugh.

“Oh okay.” I said sitting down again, “How much have you had to drink?”

“shhh, no-one has to know.” He slurred before putting himself on my lap, “I have an idea. Let’s get an apartment. Together. Then, when I can’t sleep, I can sit in the kitchen with you. And we can talk about the universe in out underwear.”

“Nico I-“ Nico placed his hand ightly over my mouth and moved a little closer to me.

“Shhh, lemme finish. I hate this place Leoo. It’s poison. It’s a poisonous place but we, we are the anti-venom okay. It’s a conspiracy. We are meant to cure everyone here. They all have their stupid flaw in their stupid lives but we can fix it. Like me, for example, shits gone bad, I’m poisoned. But you can save me Leo. All of these people, they’re assholes and you know it. But they pretend to be people that they’re not. They make themselves into boys next door but it’s not true. You know it’s not true.”

“Nico.”

“Listen to me! I know what you’re thinking. I know that I’ve just stuck to you but come on. Let’s make this easy. Say it. Say it Leo. Say I never mattered. I’ll be fine, I just don’t want to get hurt. I don’t want it to happen again. Not after Bianca. Please Leo. Say the word and I’ll leave you alone.”

“Nico, are you okay?”

“I-I feel like I’m wild. Like I’m a volcano. I feel free. I could do anything. I could be anyone. Do you wanna feel beautiful for a day?”

Nico leaned forwards like he was going to kiss me, but instead rested his head on my shoulder. Within a minute, he was snoring softly. Then I felt it. A swell of emotion. An overwhelming need to protect this poor boy from any harm, from any hurt. He wasn’t just someone who I had met in the hallway, he was a part of me, a piece of my life that I never wanted to forget. I could feel his soft breathing now tickling my neck. Careful not to wake him, I scooped my hand under his knee and picked him up. When I was about to leave, Jason spotted me and ran over.

“Hey Leo, leaving so soon?” he asked

“Yeah sorry, but Nico’s had a little too much to drunk. I ought to take him home. I can’t just leave him here, ya know.”

“Oh, I get ya. Hope you had fun watching him get pissed.”

“God you have no idea.”

He laughed, “See you Monday. Oh and text me when he gets the worst hangover of his life.

I nodded and turned to leave.

“And Leo” he called, “Don’t let this one be a mistake.”

I’d made many mistake when it came to love but when I was lowering his small body into the car and fastening his seatbelt for him I began to think maybe this one won’t be so bad. I remember telling myself a long time ago that falling in love was the worst thing I could do after what happened. But then again, I seldom listen to my own advice.


	9. Chapter 9- Could It Be Another Change.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hey guys. A little warning, chapters are going to become a lot less regular as in the summer of this year, I'm going my GCSE exams. Therefore, i'm revising every single weeknight as well as Saturday. Sunday is my only rest day and if i want to write a chapter, I will but it depends on how I feel. At around May time, I'm putting this Fanfiction on a 3 maybe 4 Month Hiatus. I'm really sorry about this but I have to focus on school first. Any Queries or Concerns, just write a comment and i'll reply as soon as I can. Thanks- Beth xxx

Leo P.O.V

My eyes burned to close but I couldn’t stop looking at him. After I had brought him back and carried him upstairs to my room, he kept on sleeping. I didn’t want to wake him by climbing into bed next to him, nor did I want to sleep downstairs. Too afraid, that’s what I was to even leave. I needed to know he was okay and now here I am, a good nine hours later and I wish I could drift off to sleep while the morning sun trickled into the room, leaving streaks of yellow across his pale face. Out of the corner of my eye, I saw him move. First, an arm stretching then a leg and then he slowly turned his head towards me. Nico let out a sigh and blinked open his eyes.

“Good morning Sleeping Beauty.”

Nico groaned and turned away, bunching the covers around him as he went.

“What time is it?” he muttered into his pillow.

“I think it’s about 10 the last time I checked.”

“I’m at your house right?”

“Well yeah.” I said with a laugh.

“So, you’ll let me lie down and you’ll take care of me and bring me chicken soup cause I feel like shit?"

I sighed, “Of course you dick. It was your first party, I’m surprised that you aren’t on the floor dead.”

He didn’t reply, that uncomfortable silence that we both knew too well fell between us.

“Wait,” He finally said breaking the silence, “Did you even sleep? Cause no way did you sleep by the way that you look.”

I shook my head, “I wanted to make sure that you were okay.”

“You need to sleep.”

“And you need to sit in a dark room with some coffee.”

“Leo.”

“Nico.”

Nico sighed again and sat up, wrapping a blanket around is shoulders as he stood up and walked past me. He began to make his way downstairs.

“Where are you going Nico?”

“I’m getting some coffee.” He replied.

I followed him as he stood in the kitchen, his hand resting on a mug as the kettle boiled.

“You need to sleep.” He said, still refusing to look at me.

“I’m not going to shout cause I know that you probably have a headache. You need to rest. So, how about we watch a movie and I’ll probably fall asleep and then we’ll both be happy.”

He nodded and made his way to the living room with his coffee.

“What movie do you want to watch?” I said, following him once again.

“I always liked the Jungle Book.” Nico said, almost afraid to admit it.

“Me too.” I smiles, “I used to sing ‘Bare Necessities’ if I made dinner.”

Nico stifled a laugh and quickly put the movie on. I laid my head on Nico’s lap and watched, my eyes slowly closing as I did. Is that was love is supposed to be? Those simple pleasures that you find in each other’s company when it’s just you. No lies, no masks, just the raw, real complexion that you see in the mirror. I wasn’t ready to show him the real me. If I showed him, I was sure to scare him away. But what about him? And that mask that he put on oh so often. Was I the first the see it slip?

If this was falling in love, then I was sure that it would only feel this good with him. I could smell his coffee and the faint scent of detergent on his clothes and it felt more like home than home ever did. I was sinking. Sinking deeper and deeper into an abyss. Was I doing the right thing? He probably didn’t feel the same and that’s what hurt a little. I had no idea what was going on in that head of his but I wanted to know. Maybe, you can’t love unless you know what love is. Has he ever loved? His family maybe. I saw those pictures of him and who I could only assume was his sister but never had I had the courage to ask him. Why wasn’t she there for him? I didn’t want to know. I can’t think for myself sometimes, I need guidance.

I heard the door slam and I jolted up. He never came home on a Saturday.

“Who’s that?” I heard Nico ask.

I swallowed hard, “My Dad.”

He came into the room, his clothes covered in grease and god knows what. He took up most of the doorframe but not in a fat kind of way. He was 99% pure muscle and tall too. He towered over me and I felt the panic hit my chest. I couldn’t move. I couldn’t tell him to run.

“Leo make- who is that?” He said, his voice deep.

“This is Nico. We went to a party last night and he got drunk. He passed out and I brought him here.” I could feel my voice shake. I had to stand my ground.

“Couldn’t you have taken him home?”

“I didn’t want to leave him.”

“So you brought him into my fucking house without my permission?”

I nodded and I stared at him. I kept staring. I wasn’t going to back down this time even if I meant he would hit me like he so often did. I’d never shown Nico the bruises, nor did I want to. He grabbed me by the back of my shirt and dragged me into the kitchen, with Nico staring at me, his mouth open in shock.

“What did I fucking tell you about bringing people back here?” He growled.

“That I shouldn’t.”

“And yet you did anyway?”

“I couldn’t leave him.”

“Why do you fucking care so much? Its not like he’s your friend because you don’t have friends.”

“He is my friend!” I shouted back.

He slapped me, the pain spreading through my cheek.

“Don’t shout at me or I will give you a beating so hard that you won’t be able to move for a week!”

“He’s my boyfriend. What are you going to do? Hit me again. Go on, Hit me! Do your worst. I don’t care.”

“He’s your what?” he was almost shaking from rage now. I could see it in his eyes. He was going to kill me. I’m sure he would kill me.

“My boyfriend.” I walked away, leaving him and his rage frozen there.

“Nico, run. Get out, go home please. I’ll text you later.” I whispered

“Why didn’t you tell me he was like this?” he whispered back.

“I didn’t want you to know. Please go, for your own sake.”

He nodded, tears in his eyes. He looked at me one last time before running.

“YOU LITTLE SHIT!” he roared, and his fists came down on me once more.


	10. Chapter 10- Asleep

Leo P.O.V

I ran to the door and forced it shut, hearing that satisfying click of safety that I had become accustomed to. I breathed, such a simple thing to do but my chest and throat burned with tears that I refused to shed. In. Out. I sat down and counted my injuries, careful to think how I could cover them. A black eye. 3 maybe 4 new bruises on my arms. A cut on the side of my chest. A scrape on my knee. The usual I call it, to others abuse. A familiar buzz stung my thigh and with aching arms, I pulled my phone out of my pocket.

_Hey, are you okay?_

I placed a hand on my head and sighed knowing that I would have to answer him eventually.

I typed back. A reply shot back onto my screen faster than I could protest.

_Be honest._

_I don’t know anymore._

_I can’t believe you didn’t tell me. I could have helped._

_How? And anyway it doesn’t matter now._

_You could have moved out, lived with me. And it matters to me._

_Nico, stop._

I sighed, tears pricking the corners of my eyes. I breathed in deeply and they began to fall. Too fast, too heavy for me to stop them and soon, I was a shaking mess. My breaths erratic. My heart beating too fast, too hard for me to care. My phone vibrated rapidly and I picked it up to see his name with a carefully placed blue heart beside it. Reluctantly, I answered.

“Hey.” I rasped, my throat still raw.

“Don’t you fucking dare say that it doesn’t matter cause I can fucking tell you that it matters to me. How long has this been going on? How long have you been hiding?” I could hear his sadness ringing through his voice as he screamed down the phone.

“I don’t know, a few years. It used to be really bad but it’s okay now.”

“How could it have been worse? What did-“

“Nico. You don’t understand. This is my life. You need to stay out of it. I know you want to help. I know you want everything to be better but it just doesn’t work like that. I’ve tried everything but when he gets mad, he gets mad and there is fuck all I can do. He is mine to deal with. Just like how my bruises are mine to poke at.”

“It just upsets me that’s all.” He went silent for a while. “I know what its like. When my dad was here he used to hit me too.”

“What about your sister?” I regretted the words as soon as they had slipped out of my mouth.

“How did you know about my sister?”

“I saw the pictures in your house. I’m sorry, I shouldn’t have said anything-“

“No, it’s fine.” He said before clearing his throat, “Her name was Bianca. She died a few years ago trying to save me. I don’t want to talk about it.”

“Okay.” I said before resting my head back on my pillow, “Do you even realise what time it is?”

“ye, god its stupid. Do you want to sleep or are you okay to keep talking?”

“Yeah, its only midnight.”

Nico sighed.

“I don’t want to sleep. Sleep gets scary sometimes.”

“I know the feeling.”

“I wish I was there with you so you didn’t have to scared of him. I’d wrap you up in my arms and we’d sit together and try to forget about him. We’d look at the stars and only focus on the sweet symphony that out heartbeats made.”

“What did I do to deserve you?”

“You somehow captured my attention. And you cared enough to ask if I was okay. No-one ever cared about me that much before.”

“Thanks for calling me.”

“It’s what I’m here for.” He said with a laugh.

I sighed again and turned to my side.

“Whats up.” He said again.

“I don’t want to wake up to him tomorrow. I want to sleep forever and just forget everything. I want to sleep in your arms and just forget. I want to sleep and sleep and sleep and listen to music with you at midnight while we wonder about the universe. I want you to sing me to sleep while I breathe in everything about you. Where would I be without you Nico? I don’t know.”

“Probably stuck in a tree somewhere.”

“I’m being serious.”

“I know. It’ll be okay. And just think, after high school, you can move in with me and you’ll be safe and happy.”

“I’d…really like that.”

“I need to go to sleep now okay?”

“Yeah” I yawned, “Same.”

“Okay.”

“And Nico.”

“Yeah?”

“I love you.”

The line went silent before he replied, scared and timid.

“I love you too.” And the line clicked dead.

With my head swimming, I climbed under the blankets, the harsh bruises that formed along my arms rumbled my bones with a deep aching pain but I didn’t mind. My heart felt light, my veins ignited. The darkness didn’t bother so much as it did before. And for the first time since she died and he left bruises on my bones, I wasn’t so scared of going to sleep.


	11. Chapter 11- Running

Leo P.O.V

I prepared to go to school the next day with long sleeves and an excuse on the tip of my tongue ready to hand out in case anyone cared to ask what had happened to my face. Jason and Percy knew and by now, they had learnt not to ask, just assuming that his anger had come down on me again. I didn’t like talking about it because the bruises hurt a little more when I did. All day, Nico squeezed my hand that little bit harder when I lied saying that I’d fallen over or walked into a door and he would look at me, those brown eyes staring through my transparent mask and urging me to do something. What could I do? Nico’s hushed whisper interrupted my thoughts.

“Why didn’t Percy and Jason ask about your face?”

“Because they know.” I said, trying to put an end to the topic.

“But they didn’t even ask if you were okay.” He was getting worried about me now.

“I don’t like them asking me about it. The first time I came in they were all over me asking about it and I took them to one corner and explained what happened and the next few times they were suffocating me. They asked if I was okay, offered to get my lunch, tod me jokes and I hated it. If anything I wanted to forget what had happened and not have a constant reminder of what he did to me. I know you mean well Nico and I know that you’re angry at him but please, just forget it ever happened.”

“Okay” He sighed, realising his mistake, “There’s this park near the end of my street. Do you wanna go after school? We can sit on the swings like losers.”

“I’d love that.”

Nico quickly kissed my lips and then went on the way to his lesson, flashing me a small smile as he went.

The day came and went and it wasn’t long before I was sat on the cold seat of the swing waiting to see him walk towards me across the mass of green in front of me. I felt my bones aching, skin burning and the great expanse of a blue sky above me swallowed me whole as I could only wait for him. I waited for his eyes, his hair, his smiles, those cold hands of his. At last, I saw a spot of black against a green backdrop and I knew it was him. I waited for him to come and sooth my aches and pains as he so often would. The bruises hurt more in the cold as if they had burrowed through to my bones in search for warmth.

“Hey.” He said, taking a seat on the swing beside me, “Fuck its cold.”

I nodded, feeling unable to speak as I wondered about things that teenage boys shouldn’t be wondering about,

“Have you still got those cigarettes?”

Nico nodded,

“Can I please have one?”

He dug through his backpack and handed me one, lighting it so that the fire would not be extinguished by the wind.

“Ya know,” he said as I took my first drag, “That’s bad for your health you know”

“Oh fuck off.” I retorted as I felt the smoke fill my lungs.

The brilliant orange bled across the blue like an eternal flame consuming the daytime in its path. It couldn’t be late, maybe only 5 ‘o’ clock but the stars ignited the black sky, small diamonds sparkling against the forever black backdrop. Then I felt the familiar buzz in a pocket and the moment I had learned to dread.

_Where are you?_

_Come home now._

_I swear to fucking god you piece of shit._

“Him again?”

“Yeah.” I sighed.

“Are you going to go home to him?”

I shook my head pathetically and felt the hot tears begin to drip down my cheeks.

“Do you want to come to my house instead?”

I nodded feeling as though my heart were about to burst at even the thought of going back there. Home should be a place of comfort and a loving family waiting at the door but my house was anything but. It was just a house, never a home. Never a place that I waited to go home to. Nico was my home, Nico and his warm eyes and black hair and beating heart was my home. I’d run forever if it meant that I could find a place to belong.

“That reminds me Nico, I’ve never met your Mom. I mean, you’ve had the ever so pleasant experience of meeting my dad.”

“Yeah, your right.” He agreed, a slight shake in his voice, “I’ve been meaning to tell you Leo, my Mom doesn’t live with me.”

“Where is she then?”

“She’s… dead. I don’t have to worry about money or anything. I have a rich Aunt somewhere in the world who sends me money. My mom made her make a promise to support me until I had a job and could support myself.”

“That’s why your place is always so empty.”

“Yeah, it’s just me in there. It’s quite nice having you there. It brightens up the place, ya know.”

I smiled, “Don’t try to flatter me Di Angelo.”

“As if I need to flatter you.”

I don’t know how he did it, instantaneously making my day that littlest bit better. As he led me up to his bedroom, I thought about everything I had ever known about him. I was so sure. He was my sun, my moon, my everything. He was the changing of the tides, he had the Milky Way in those eyes of his. I could get lost in those eyes. As I laid in his bed, he pressed those ever so soft kisses on my back, soothing me to sleep.

“I love you Nico.” I whispered into the night only expecting the dark the answer.

“I love you too.” He said, a sureness in his voice I had never heard before.


	12. Chapter 12- What You Wanted

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hello, I am back. So how are you, long time no see. Anyway second to last chapter my dearest friends.

Leo P.O.V

The morning lights streamed through the light curtains of Nico’s bedrooms waking me up alone with a significant lack of Nico in his bed. I hoped that we would be downstairs and not in the middle of the woods somewhere because he was scared of how laid bare he was last night. Plodding downstairs, there I found him in the kitchen attempting to make breakfast.

“So,” I said coyly, leaning against the doorframe, “Word on the street is that you love me.”

“Ah shut up Valdez.”

“The thing is about the word on the street is that,” I stepped forwards, “is that it could be load of bullshit.”

“Yeah but-“

“I think I need you to say it again Di Angelo. Let me savour it.”

“Okay.” Nico said looking up, “I love you” and pressing a light kiss on my lips

“Sorry, I didn’t quite catch that” A grin began to slip onto my lips,

“I love you.”

“Hmm maybe a little louder.”

Nico placed both of his hands on my cheeks and forced me to look into his eyes.

“I love you, Leo Valdez” His voice barely above a whisper.

“Hmm yes, I think I do believe you.” We both stood there savouring the silence that laid between us. It was too sweet to break until the loud blare of the fire alarm sounded throughout the house.

“Fuck!” He shouted as he quickly shifted the pot of what used to be food on to the next hob.

I peered into the pot to be offended by the smell of charred eggs.

“How do you even manage to burn eggs?” I choked out between laughs.

“Oh I don’t know maybe I was distracted by a certain boy practically giving me bedroom eyes while beggin me to tell him that I love him.”

“You know you love it.”

“Hmm maybe.” He said finally.

Then I remembered, I had to go home. Fuck, I hadn’t even bothered to check my phones. He would be so mad. He’s kill me if he knew. Oh fuck. It hit me. I didn’t want to go back. I wanted to stay right here with Nico. I wanted this to be what it was like every morning- the harmless teasing, the kisses and the fact that I was as safe as I had ever been.

“You want to go back home, don’t you?” Nico said, breaking through my worrisome thoughts and all I could do was nod.

“Get dressed,” He said, “You can borrow some of my clothes.”

“What, why?”

“Just trust me on this one, okay?”

That was my mistake, trusting him at every turn. Sure enough, I still got myself dressed in his clothes, in his house under the pretence that his idea was once again the right one. I could feel myself entwining with himself. I was becoming more like him each day- slowly finding the independence I needed to wean myself away from my old life and into this new one… Who was I kidding? Of course I’d go back there. I continued to persuade myself to be brave as I went downstairs once more to greet him. He took my hand and dragged me out of the door.

I didn’t notice where we were going until we got there. I was too busy looking at him, taking him in before my oh so loving father would consume me. I was stupid to believe I could get away from him. Nico stopped dead when we arrived and instead of worrying about what would happen to me, I was surrounded by peace. The sunlight rained through the gaps of the trees overhead in small droplets. It cast stops of fire on the leaf covered ground, on the bark of the trees and combed through Nico’s hair. There was green and brown and yellow and orange and everything around me. And then there was him. Stood there, holding my hand looing just as he did the first day I met him. No, he was entirely different. He was my Nico. He was here and he was so real that everything for that moment felt okay. I wanted to ask where we were, why he had brought me here but I already knew. The birdsong danced in the air. It reminded me of what home should be like. But home to me wasn’t a house. My home was Nico. He was always here, knowing me better than I knew myself.

“Thank you.” I whispered.

“I thought it would show you how the world is bigger than your problems. I used to come here myself some days.” He sighed, “You know, you don’t have to go back to him. Your life will be shit and you know it. I hate seeing you like that. You’ve trusted me so many times before, I’ll need you to trust me again. Let’s go back to yours, collect all of your stuff and come and live with me. He won’t know your there, you will be safe. Leave him a note so he can’t call the police or any shit like that. If he does, you tell them everything. So, will you trust me one more time?”

“Nico, you know I can’t.”

“And why not?”

“I just-“

“Leo, you’re holding back from what could be a perfect life because you are so scared of what might not happen. You have me. When have I been wrong? And if you get lost, I’ll find you. If you get scared by the dark, I’ll be there. Please, I’m doing this for you.”

“Okay, I’ll do it.”

We rand back to his house and he drove to mine. My dad wasn’t there and so we began. First my clothes were put into bag and then thrown into the car. Next, books and heavier shit. My covers just in case and all my shoes. Every photo, every lost sock, every memory that has been spoiler by this house were put into boxes and put into the car. We had to act fast in case he came home. I didn’t want him to spoil this, not now, not ever. Everything had been packed, the few material possessions that were solely mine were packed. Now just the note remained to be written. I scrawled an apology and a goodbye on a piece of paper, making sure to leave out the place where I would be staying. In a way, I didn’t want to leave. I’d grown up in that house with my Mom and my Dad. Yeah, I’d had a few good years, but now was the time to change. I’d be free.

“You okay?” Nico asked, sliding his hand into mine as I stood at the doorframe thinking of a way to say goodbye.

“Yeah,” I said, turning away and looking at him, this boy, my future, “I’m fine.”

We both got in the car, and as he drove off I didn’t turn back to see the remains of my past. The ashes of the fire I had started. No, now was the time for me to collect new timber, move forward and build new fires and new lives. As long as I was with him, every day would be an adventure.


	13. Chapter 13- The Reckless And The Brave

Nico P.O.V

I’d always had trouble sleeping and still, I was ever hopeful that the presence of Leo in my bed would cure my apparent need to wake up in the middle of the night and yet, here I was. The only difference from my any previous nights of midnight wanderings was the ever warm arm draped over my waist when I woke. Ah Leo, the ever graceful sleeper. You had to give it to him, there was something almost majestic about how truly messily he slept. Tangled in the covers, his hair draped over his eyes and a long line of drool was very visible in what little light there was. The funniest part of his sleeping posture though had to be the fact he slept on his stomach. This, of course led to him often waking up with his ass in the air. Not that I could complain about such a wonderful sight.

I slipped out from underneath his arm and in response, Leo gave a rather large snore, perhaps out of protest. It was moments like these where I almost regretted inviting him to live here. Almost. I could never truly regret my decision. His presence had ignited the halls of my lonely home, the ghosts of the past withdrew from the paintings. I had never felt so whole.

I passed those very pictures on my way downstairs to reach the kitchen. There, I grabbed a glass of water and hoisted myself up onto the counter. The cold surface seeped through my underwear as I allowed the cold air to prick my skin. I normally didn’t mind but it appeared that I had become accustomed to Leo’s warmth. It made me wonder why we were such opposites and yet, so alike. So perfectly made to fit together despite all of our differences. It’s said that love is found in the strangest of places and for the most part I had to agree. I don’t know but it was just something about Leo that drew me to him. Maybe I knew that all of this would happen but maybe it was eyes. God those eyes could swallow me whole.

I heard Leo significantly heavy tread on the floorboards. I guess that he had figured out where I was.

“Hey, are you okay?” His voice rough from sleep. The artificial light did nothing to curb my affection for him. I didn’t want to talk, just stare at him, and absorb him even though I’d done it so many times before.

“Yeah, I couldn’t sleep.”

Leo walked over and too hoisted himself up onto the kitchen counter.

“It’s weird.” I said.

“What is?”

“Everything man. The universe, me, you, the insignificance of everything. Like, we are just two people on this entire planet and right now, nothing matter to be more than how your hair looks or this glass of water. These miniscule things are like the world to me but no-one else cares. It doesn’t matter to anyone else. And I want to know what matters so much to you right now. The world doesn’t care what happens to you but I do, god I do. And it’s so weird how all I can imagine is us living together and here we are like a pair of typical teenagers, reckless and brave, just surviving. I saved you and you saved me but some days, I feel like I didn’t want to be saved. I wanted to be remembered for something awfully tragic. But that’s not where my story is going. This isn’t my final destination and all I can hope is that my song will be continued to be sung even though I’m still writing it. There is so much of my life for me to live. There will be fast times and slow times but I don’t care as long as it’s with you.”

“Nico.”

“I’m sorry for acting all mushy with you but, I have so many dreams that need to come true. I have places to be, people to meet. I need to feel whole and you help me so much. I don’t want to be completely dependent on you but you are such a big part of my life and I never want you to leave.”

“Ya know,” Leo said, a smile on his lips, “You sound like you do when you’re drunk.”

“What?”

“Yeah, when we went to Jason’s party and you got pissed, you came over and sat on my lap. You started spouting all this nonsense about poison and how you didn’t matter and then you said that we should sit in the kitchen together in our underwear and talk about the universe. You fell asleep after that and I remember thinking how I needed to protect you, you seemed so small in my arms when I carried you to my car. That’s what matters to me, Nico. You and all the little things about you. I couldn’t imagine where I’d be now if I hadn’t bumped into you in that crowed hallway.”

“Well then, long live us in this fucked up, messed up world that we live in.” I said, resting my head on his shoulder

“Long live us.” He said into the night, and here we were, a light in the darkness, a chance for hope.


End file.
